Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club,

and a man dressed as King Arthur approaches you with this charming pickup line.

Excuse me, milady, but are you an iron rod?

Because if you are, I could hammer you on my concrete slab.

Whatever you do, resist the urge to tell him to stick his sword in a stone.

And instead, tell him, is that the black plague in your pocket, or are you just

happy to see me? And that's when you give him the number to the loser line, so hopefully he leaves

an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air. Voicemails like this one.

Next message. Hey, it's tenor.

Full disclosure, I didn't tell you this to what we met, but I was actually married for seven years.

It was a pretty conservative situation, and I kind of kept myself bottled up.

But that's over, definitely over, which is good news for you because currently I'm in my

skank phase.

Oh, oh.

And I'm proud to say that it's been awesome.

I'm not saying no to anyone.

So, yeah, I'm not sure when you want this to happen, but call me literally anytime.

...