Hey girl, what's up with you? Wait a minute. Is this the right number? It's the loser line. Come on, just call me back. If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this. Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you. Hey, girl. Oh. You want to go have these on a baby? What the heck,

roll.

We're jumping right to the...

Okay.

Whatever you do, don't say yes or try to bargain him down.

Just point right below his belt and say, are you going to eat that?

Oh, that's a good one, yeah.

When he looks confused, that's when you grab his phone and put in the number to the loser

line.

So hopefully he calls it and leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

Hey there, warrior.

It's stupid.

You're just checking in.

So, I know when we met, you said you were having kind of a rough go,

uh, well, lucky for you, I actually do some motivational speaking. It's, uh, mostly a senior

homes right now. And, uh, usually I'm just like encouraging them to like not die at breakfast but I really think I made

some strides with a few of them like like there's this old guy named Mori so he's 93 and one day

he was saying what do I even have to live for?

And I told him, life is like a sandwich.

Sometimes it's cold.

...