It's the radio segment that's helping out your self-conscious pet with a new fashion accessory called Panties for Pups.

What?

Talk to me, Jeff.

They don't want to show it off anymore.

And not only do they look stylish, it's a great deterrent for all those invasive butt sniffers out there. Okay, I can see that. Our 14-year-old dog has been wearing diapers at night, and they're actually pretty adorable. She could look even cuter with some of these. Thanks to laser stories, the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser laser those other lace laberdoodles just don't this first laser story is out of louisiana a 41 year old

woman named aaron sutton walked across her lawn went on to her neighbor's property got naked

and then jumped into their backyard pond Oh, that actually sounds kind of fun.

Skinny dipping!

Yeah, or for me it's chubby dipping.

Well, crazy enough, this is not the first time this has happened.

Oh.

The neighbors dealt with Aaron getting nude in her pond at least three times over the past eight weeks.

Oh, no.

She's addicted. I'd be down, but, ponds are so gross looking. Yeah. If it was a pool. And then you're naked in it. No, you're right. Yeah. Worse for her. Yeah. So, cops were called, and when officers arrived and asked her what was going on, Aaron simply stated that she was trying to be a mermaid.

Don't!

That makes sense.

Does it? Because mermaids are usually associated with the ocean and not random backyard ponds in Louisiana.

Wow, Jeff.

You're going to have that stance against freshwater mermaid.

Come on, she's a pawn maid.

You don't know that.

I doubt that that water is very fresh. I'm being honest. Anyway, cops tried to coax her out of the water, but she refused. Well, she can't walk. She's a mermaid. What do mermaid's eat? What do you coax them with? I don't know. Shrimp. Well, eventually she got out, but then still completely naked, charged one of the deputies. Oh, don't do that. Well, mermaids have feelings, too. Oh, boy, they tased her? They did tase her. Oh, God, and she was wet, so that's got her even worse. No, they said it had zero effect. What? Okay, she's high. She then allegedly kicked and punched a cop before they finally restrained her.

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