Welcome to Nobody Told Me. I'm Laura Owens and I'm Jan Black. Our very special guest on this episode is beloved author, educator, and social activist Lorraine Carey. She's the author of several books,

including Black Ice, The Price of a Child, and Pride. Lorraine's most recent book is a memoir

called Lady Sitting, My Year with Nana at the end of her century. It's received rave reviews,

including one from O, the Oprah magazine, which called Lady Sitting simply

Radiant. Lorraine, thank you so very much for joining us. Oh, I'm delighted. I'm delighted.

Thank you. You know, as a two-generational mother-daughter duo, Laura and I are always interested

in multi-generational stories from other people's families. So tell us the story

behind the book, Lady Sitting. The story behind it is our year and a half, close to two years,

of having my grandmother with us on hospice. She came to us from the hospital. We expected

that she had somewhere between weeks and months to live. Uh, and then she got better. Or as she said,

oh, honey, you're treating me so well, I can't die.

And she lived on with us.

She hadn't wanted to come.

She had lived up until 99 years old in her home and wanted to live there alone on her own terms, but just couldn't.

You said that she was terrified of death.

And when you just said how she told you, I can't die, I was just taken back to that moment

because it just really hit me. I mean, so many of us are and she

was just facing it. So even though she didn't like to talk about it, what do you remember about

that last conversation with her and if her view changed at all about death?

No, it's fascinating. I go back and forth with myself. I talk to my sister about this

because the fact is none of us knows what the other knows, for real, for real. But you do see

the behavior.

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