Lord Buckingham, I Presume: Charles Stopford
Ridiculous Crime
iHeartPodcasts
4.5 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 30 October 2025
⏱️ 58 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Florida man unhappy with life. Florida man move to Europe. Florida man change name. Florida man take phony title. Uh oh, Florida man get in trouble.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | This is an IHeart podcast. |
| 0:22.4 | Ridiculous Crime is a production of IHeart Radio. Zarin. Elizabeth. How are you? Doing pretty well. I had a good day today. You did? How about you? It was fun, exciting, relaxing. Yeah, I read some cool stuff. I like that. Yeah, anytime I can air out my head with new facts, I'm always stoked. God bless. I love that for you. Yeah. How about you? |
| 0:23.2 | It was good day. |
| 0:23.5 | Nice. |
| 0:21.6 | It was nice and productive. And then they came here. |
| 0:26.7 | Sorry about that. No, this is the highlight of my day, my week, my life. Do you know what's ridiculous? |
| 0:31.8 | I do. We recently lost Matthew Perry, the actor. Yeah. And before he passed, he wrote this memoir of his life. |
| 0:40.0 | Uh-huh. |
| 0:40.4 | And there's one story in the memoir that I find ridiculous and in a very loving way. |
| 0:45.4 | Yeah. |
| 0:46.0 | So you ever wanted to steal a rock star's wife? |
| 0:50.0 | Not personally, no. |
| 0:51.0 | Matthew Perry did. |
| 0:52.1 | Oh, God. |
| 0:52.9 | Yes. He was, I guess, he had this short-lived sitcom with Valerie Bertinelli. Oh, right, right. The show was called Sydney. Okay, I don't remember that. Yeah, it was in 1990. It was a sitcom. It didn't last very long. I wasn't born yet. Yeah. Well, anyway, he fell in love with her while they were filming that show, apparently. And she was married to Eddie Van Halen of Van Halen fame. Yeah. Yeah. And in his memoir, the friends, lovers, and the big, terrible thing, he has this story where he says, and I quote, I was obsessed with her and harbored elaborate fantasies about her leaving Eddie Van Halen living out the rest of her days with me. |
| 1:27.8 | I didn't stand a f*** chance, of course. That said, there was one night. I was over at Valerie |
| 1:33.4 | and Eddie's house, just hanging out and gazing at Valerie, trying to make her laugh. As the night |
| 1:39.0 | progressed, it was clear that Eddie had enjoyed the fruits of the vine a little too hard, one more time. |
| 1:45.1 | And eventually he just passed out, not 10 feet from us, but still, this was my chance. |
| 1:50.7 | Oh, God. |
| 1:51.7 | If you think, I didn't actually have a chance in hell, you'd be wrong, dear reader. |
| 1:55.6 | Valerie and I had a long, elaborate makeout session. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from iHeartPodcasts, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of iHeartPodcasts and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.