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Rude Tales of Magic

Bucket of Milk

Comedy Fiction, Leisure, Comedy, Fiction

4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 7 July 2021

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We've just announced OUR FIRST IN-PERSON live show in a year! September 15th at the Bell House in historic Brooklyn, New York. Tickets are going fast and will definitely sell out very soon. Get one now at rudetalesofmagic.live

Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will perform cellular mitosis (asexual) and become TWO patreons, and then it's over for you bozos. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, well, we'd love to have you. There is SO MUCH good stuff just sitting there waiting for you. Join us HERE.

Check out our store at rudetalesofmagic.com for HOT HOT deals on sweet sweet shirts, live show recordings, and more! We got tank tops for your post-covid summer! We thought of everything, if everything is shirts!

And follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.

We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.

This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.

Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

Follow the show:

Twitter: @of_rude

Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a headgum podcast. The sound of the bell fills every inch of rules haven. It's later in the day now.
0:20.0	The people of rules haven stop what they're doing and look up at the bell tower, like dinosaurs looking up at the asteroid.
0:27.0	The owner of a scolding store makes the face of the weeping Frenchman.
0:31.0	Elsewhere in the city, a ragtag militia stopped in the middle of an underground
0:35.0	argument to take in this unexpected ringing. They nod solemnly and begin loading crossbows
0:41.3	and taking their swords off the wall.
0:43.2	It has begun.
0:44.2	Good people of Roleshaven!
0:49.2	It's me, your beloved mayor.
0:51.2	Ebenees a white head. I have some good news and some bad news.
0:56.6	Manners dictate that the bad news should come first and as a public servant I must follow suit.
1:03.0	Our beloved bell ringer, Bello, was unable to take the pressure of framing on new rules,
1:10.0	and he stabbed himself with my sword.
1:14.0	The wound was fatal, but with his dying breath he asked me to carry on his legacy.
1:20.0	He said I alone got what he was going for and enough of you saw us together to know that I speak only the truth
1:27.5	But now the good news
1:30.6	new rule
1:37.0	In order to best facilitate Bellows' last wishes, I will be taking complete control of the rules of Rules Haven.
1:41.0	All other rules are hereby overridden. I alone dictate the rules. I am no longer
1:48.0	your mayor. I am Odileus human vessel and stand above all men as a god. I grant myself access to all of her power.
1:56.5	Tremble before me, voters.
2:02.0	A wave of magic bell energy surges through rules haven and the entire city ebbs for just a second.
	...

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