Lonely Marriage? 10 Tips to Reconnect. | E90

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 890 Ratings

🗓️ 16 February 2016

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Lonely Valentine's Days aren't just for singles... Valentine's Day can be a fun, romantic day. But it can also leave people feeling exquisitely lonely -- especially, believe it or not, if they are in long-term relationships. We've all heard the arguments that Valentine's Day is a manufactured holiday, designed to manipulate people into spending their money. But what I have found to be more true is that people love to love. They love to celebrate their love. They love to feel cherished and appreciated. And they really want to feel loved, celebrated, cherished, and appreciated on Valentine's Day -- by the person who means more to them than anyone else in the world. Particularly when relationships have been feeling challenging, many people hope that Valentine's Day can be a day for recognition, reconnection, and reunion. That the love that launched their life together can be breathed back into a cozy fire by a little effort and specialness. (And it certainly can). And... many married people have hopes that do not come to fruition on Valentine's Day. Instead of feeling like they day was a celebration of their love for each other: They don't feel loved and cherished. Or They don't feel valued and respected. Or They don't feel known, or understood. Or They are frustrated by radically different ideas of what would be fun / meaningful to do on Valentine's Day. Or They try to have a good time, but old friction points, conflicts, and resentments bubble up to spoil it. Ick. When these things happen couples can feel very, very lonely on THE DAY that it seems like everyone else in the world is celebrating their love. Even if things are "good-enough" most of the time, and longing for connection is lost in the day-to-day flurry of must-do activities and chores, a lonely Valentine's Day can still feel like a real blow. It's hard to live through this, but here is the good news: Being dissatisfied with the way things are is the definition of motivation. All couples have ups and downs. Being more aware of your feelings is the first step towards making positive changes in your life, and in your relationship. Are YOU feeling ready to make changes? Do you want to feel connected, and in-love again? Help is here: On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing my top 10 tips to help you re-establish your romantic connection. Feeling Lonely In Your Marriage? 10 Tips To Reconnect. Listen Now. Music Credits: "Valentine," by The Losers

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and you're listening to the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast.
0:11.0	And that's the band Loser with their song, Valentine.
0:28.4	I wanted to do something Valentine's Day oriented, but also something that kind of captures
0:35.7	how I think a lot of people feel after Valentine's Day,
0:40.2	particularly people in long-term relationships who may have been disappointed by the day
0:47.3	and feel like their experience of Valentine's Day actually highlights the cracks in the relationship as opposed to, you know,
0:57.7	really maybe giving them that experience of reunion and reconnection that they were looking for.
1:04.9	So that's what we're talking about today is about this experience, about feeling lonely in a marriage on Valentine's Day, but also
1:13.4	most importantly, how to fix it. I'm giving you my top 10 tips for bringing it back together
1:21.0	if you've been feeling distant lately. So I hope you listen and get a lot out of that. But
1:26.3	hey, first of all, I realized I haven't introduced myself in a while.
1:29.7	So if you're a new listener to the show, thanks so much for being here.
1:33.3	I'm delighted that you've stumbled across the love, happiness, and success podcast.
1:38.2	So who I am, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, my background is as a marriage counselor.
1:44.0	I'm a licensed marriage and family
1:45.3	therapist. I also have a doctorate in counseling psychology, which trained me as a psychologist.
1:52.2	And then after all that, I became a board certified life coach so that I have a more, let's say,
1:57.8	direct way of helping people than traditional therapy. But I practice all three.
2:02.7	I do marriage counseling, therapy, life coaching. I'm the founder and clinical director of
2:08.0	growing self counseling and life coaching based out of Denver, Colorado. And I started doing
2:13.0	these podcasts a while ago because I realized that there is a lot of like pseudoscience floating around
2:20.7	out there and not to knock any of it, you know, but there's all kinds of articles and all kinds
	...

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