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Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Let's Talk About Money, Honey: Financial Counseling For Couples | E89

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 890 Ratings

🗓️ 10 February 2016

⏱️ 40 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Are "money issues" a problem in your relationship? If so, you're not alone. Fights about money -- how to spend it, how to save it, and how to make it -- are common battlegrounds in a marriage. Why so much drama? Money is emotionally laden for most people. Money is ultimately a symbol that can mean security, freedom, pleasure, power, love, and more. When it means different things to two people in a relationship -- look out. The sparks fly when couples have different values around money. "He's a cheapskate." (Translation: I don't feel loved.) "She spends every dime." (Translation: Doesn't she care about our security? Or how hard I work?) "All he/she does is work." (Translation: I don't feel important.) "I can't believe you spent so much on _____." (Translation: I don't understand you.) "Where did it all go??" (Translation: This is scary. I feel alone in this.) When left unchecked, "money issues" can bloom into very ugly emotional dynamics: Power struggles. Hiding spending, or debt. Negative beliefs about each other's character. Increasing hostility and emotional distance. Money problems must be resolved. Get on The Same Page About Finances The good news is that creating agreement and teamwork around finances is a solvable problem. All couples have to work through differences around money as part of growing together. This doesn't have to be stressful or conflictual. It's just a matter of learning new skills -- together. In fact, the most successful couples have developed a set of skills about how to manage money together. (Just like they have learned about other critical relationship skills). Learning how to talk about money, make a plan for money, and support each other's financial hopes and dreams is one of the cornerstones of a happy healthy marriage. Financial Counseling For Couples On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast I'm so pleased to be speaking with expert couples financial counselor Jeff Motske on this subject. Jeff is the author of Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility, and the host of the "Declare Your Financial Freedom" radio show. Listen to our interview to learn how to: How to use Jeff's free online quiz: War of the Wallets to learn more about each other's "money personality" Have productive conversations about money How to create a workable budget How to develop a "solid financial house" together And how to set yourself financially free, as a couple. Financial Counseling For Couples: Listen Now

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and you're listening to the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast.

0:06.5

Honey, I do what I want, I do it for me.

0:13.6

Mommy, I do not want to take it for me, which when I hear it,

0:32.6

which when I hear it is kind of a cautionary tale about the kind of person you don't want to be in relationship with when it

0:39.7

comes to values around money. And I thought it was appropriate because that's what we're talking

0:45.0

about today on the podcast, is how to protect your relationship from, quote, money issues.

0:53.7

And it's important, and I think it's timely.

0:56.6

You know, we're coming up on Valentine's Day here in a minute, but really any time of year.

1:01.2

One of the things that couples fight about the most and can most reliably create stress and

1:07.7

angst in your relationship are significant differences around money, different values

1:14.8

around money, different ideas about how money should be handled.

1:18.9

And so that's why I'm so pleased that today on the show, we're speaking to Jeff Motzki.

1:24.9

He is the founder of Trilogy Financial. He's been a certified financial planner

1:30.7

for decades. And he is the author of a fabulous book called The Couples Guide to Financial

1:37.8

Compatibility. He is also the host of a very popular podcast called Declare Your Financial Independence.

1:46.7

And one of the things I love the most about Jeff's work is that he has launched a really

1:51.9

great tool on his website, which is jeffmotsky.com.

1:55.8

He calls it War of the Wallets.

1:57.5

And it's a quiz that you and your partner can take to help begin a conversation

2:01.9

about similarities and differences around money. And so we're going to be talking to Jeff today

2:07.9

and get his great advice about how to get on the same page and stay there with regards to finances.

2:15.2

But a couple of quick announcements, I'm in the process right now of doing

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