Liz Gilbert on Loving Without Losing Yourself

We Can Do Hard Things

Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

Society & Culture, Relationships, Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 41.1K Ratings

🗓️ 11 September 2025

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

443. Liz Gilbert on Loving Without Losing Yourself Glennon and Liz Gilbert go deeper into Liz’s relationship with Rayya, into the tender, messy, miraculous place where caring for someone else pushes hard against caring for yourself. They talk about the quiet traps of codependency, the heartbreak of giving away your power, and the transformative freedom that comes when you turn to a higher voice for guidance. Listen to the first part of our conversation here. About Elizabeth: Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of nine previous works of fiction and nonfiction, which collectively have sold more than 25 million copies worldwide, spent more than 250 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and been translated into more than fifty languages. She has been a finalist for the National Book Award, the National Book Critics Circle Award, and the PEN/Hemingway Award. With more than 20 million views of her TED Talk and 2.7 million followers on her social media accounts, she continues to be one of the most beloved and influential writers of our age.. Her new memoir: ALL THE WAY TO THE RIVER: Love, Loss, and Liberation is available now.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to We can do hard things. If you haven't yet listened to Tuesday's
0:14.9	gorgeous part one conversation with our beloved friend Liz Gilbert, trust me, go back and start there. Because today,
0:22.8	we're going to keep going deeper into Liz's relationship with Reya, into the tender, messy,
0:28.2	miraculous place where caring for someone else can push hard against the need to care for yourself.
0:35.5	We talk about the quiet traps of codependency, the heartbreak of
0:39.5	giving away all of your power, and the freedom that comes when you turn to a higher voice for guidance.
0:47.2	Thank you, Liz, for this gift, for your honesty, for your heart, your courage, and for sharing
0:53.3	with us the story of you and
0:55.1	Raya. Let's jump back in. Okay, say God is speaking. How would God describe your part in creating?
1:03.9	How does a love addict and a sex addict create the very trauma and drama that they are saying is ruining their life?
1:13.2	I abdicate my power.
1:15.4	So I want to talk about the word power.
1:18.2	So one of the most beautiful things I ever heard anybody in recovery say was, I love this.
1:24.0	She said, I am loved beyond measure by a God who has given me power over practically nothing. Let me say it again. I am loved beyond measure by a God who has given me power over practically nothing. But that tiny little margin of power, control, and will that I have been
1:47.7	given, it's essential that I use it well and that I use it only in sacred and good ways,
1:57.1	not good in a moralistic way, but toward the creation of light, right? It's a tiny, tiny,
2:03.9	tiny little measure of control that I have. Right. So what I do in my addiction is I take the teeny
2:11.0	tiny but incredibly sacred margin of power that I have over my life and I hand it to you. And I'm like, now
2:20.6	you're in power over me. I'm giving you this. You have all the power over me now. So now my
2:28.6	focus is entirely on you. And whatever you want, I will serve. Whatever you say, I will do. Right. So I'm voluntarily,
2:37.8	I mean, I remember the tremendous strange, almost like, this is probably what heroin feels like,
2:44.8	feeling that I had when I left my marriage and I came to be with Rea and she was dying and I was
	...

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