Welcome to indoctrination, a weekly conversation series about protecting yourself from systems of control.

I'm your host, Rachel Bernstein.

Before we start with part three of my three-part conversation with Ellie, I want to just encourage all of you to go to

Patreon.com slash indoctrination. Patreon.com slash indoctrination to become a supporter of the show

to help keep it on the air. Anything that you can give to donate to this show to keep it going would be much,

much appreciated and needed.

And now for the grand finale of my conversation with Ellie.

Ellie was raised a third-generation Christian scientist in Southern California.

She left the religion in her late teens and discovered it was a cult, as she says, in her mid-20s.

Her journey of over 10 years has been undoing the restrictive thinking and false

beliefs imprinted since birth and finding out who she is underneath all of it. What's really

beautiful about what Ellie talks about today is that yes, it is about her experience, and yes, it is about her journey,

but it is very relatable. Many people listening are going to find ways to tie in what she's saying

to their own lives. There are so many lessons here and so much information

that I think a lot of people will benefit from. And I hope that it helps you feel connected

to each other and understood.

Here's Ellie now.

So I want to welcome Ellie back onto the show for what is going to be part three of a three-part conversation. So the last time we were talking about a lot of things, including things like not being able to be angry, be sad, be emoting, and I guess obviously upset and crying.

And also that there was a fear of talking about bad things or of telling secrets.

And it leads to having different personas, I think, an outward persona that doesn't necessarily represent what's

happening inside. And sometimes there can be some confusion about how you're really feeling inside.

But it seems like the part that's not confusing is how you're supposed to appear.

...