This week's Judge John Hodgman was recorded in front of a live audience at SF Sketchfest.

Tonight, beyond a reasonable drought, Patricia files suit against her boyfriend Dave.

Patricia says Dave is drought-conscious and has put together a haphazard system to collect

water for his plants. She admires his Earth-friendly attitude but says his weird water tubs are

unhygienic and gross. Dave is proud of his homemade system. Who's gross? Who's not? Only one

man can decide, please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

You may be seated. You may not.

It's basically a micro sandwich, a high efficiency filter and heat exchange system.

The skin contact layer is porous. Perspiration passes through it, having cooled the body.

The next two layers include heat exchange filaments and salt precipitators.

Salt is reclaimed. Urine and feces are processed in the thigh pads.

Reclaimed water circulates to catch pockets from which you draw it through this tube right into your pie hole.

Now, bail of Jesse's thorn, you may swear them in.

Please raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,

so help you God or whatever. Please address the microphones.

I do. I do.

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he considers fresh water to be the world's most valuable resource

because his only religious text is the film Waterworld starring Kevin Costner.

I do. I do too.

Very well, Judge Hodgman. You may be seated.

Interesting. I almost used a quote from Waterworld.

But you know what? There aren't that many of them.

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