Welcome to Judge John Hodgman. This week's episode was recorded live at the Queer Theater

in Port Townsend, Washington. It was our first stop on our Frontier Justice

tour of the West. It was full of surprises. And boy, oh boy, was it a treat to finally meet

Mayor David, the person responsible for getting us to Port Townsend, Washington. We had a great time.

So without further ado, let's go to the stage at the, what do you call it again, Jesse?

The Wheeler Theater? The Wheeler Theater. Wheeler Theater in Port Townsend, Washington.

Let's go. Why not? Port Townsend, Washington, you've come to us, desperate for justice.

And here we are at the Wheeler Theater to deliver it. Let's bring out our first set of litigants.

Please welcome to this stage, Amy and Toby. Tonight's case, burden of hoof. Amy brings the case

against her husband, Toby. Amy and Toby became accidental farmers when they moved back to the

island where Toby grew up and bought a home that came with a tractor. Now that their kids are

nearly grown, they want to spend more time sailing, but the farm is too much work. Amy wants to build

lodging to hire help. Toby says it's not that simple. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one can

decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and delivers an obscure cultural reference.

Hello there. I am surrounded by hundreds, probably thousands of killer bees. If I weren't

wearing this suit, I would be dead in an instant. Bail of Jesse Thorn, please swear them in.

Amy and Toby, please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole

truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? You bet. I do. Do you swear to abide

by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that something about the controversial

raccoon lodge? I'm so excited. I don't even know anything about it. Yes.

Sure. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. Amy and W.A.C.

for an immediate, sub-regulatory judgment. One of yours favors. Can either of you name the

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