Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week, acting in

bat faith. Elise brings the case against her wife, Aaron. Aaron wants to install a bat box

in their yard to help manage mosquitoes. Elise is opposed. She's concerned about becoming

the neighborhood's weird bat people. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one can decide. Please

rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference.

When Sheriff Emmett Kimsey and Dr. Sheila Casper enter the mineshaft and fall down into the

cavern full of guano, they light a flare. The flame would have caused the fumes to ignite.

Bale of Jesse Thorn, please swear them in. Elise and Aaron, please rise and raise your right

hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you

God or whatever? Yes, I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the

fact that while not the Batman, he probably is a Batman? Yes, of course. Judge Hodgman, you may

proceed. I'm not any of the batsmen or women. I am merely a silent Sentinel for justice in my city

of Park Slope, which is to say I do a podcast. I'm doing my parts. In any case, for an immediate

summary judgment, first of all, Aaron, Elise, please be seated. For an immediate summary judgment,

one of your favors can either of you name the piece of culture that I quoted directly from

as I entered this courtroom. Elise, let's start with you. I have no idea. Do your best.

I'm going to guess one of the Batman movies. One of the batsmen. Yeah, the guano one. Yeah. Which one

of the that's the Robert Pattinson one? They should have cut some of the guano stuff because a movie

was like three hours long. It was like 90 minutes of that was guano. It was waiting through guano.

It's an important resource and a fertilizer. They wanted to get back to the roots of the

character. As Aaron may know, guano is an important resource and fertilizer in this world.

Okay, so it's the Batman starring Robert Pattinson special guano edition. Got it. Put it in the book.

...