Little Happier: “If He’ll Do It For You, He’ll Do It to You”: My Daughter and Father Hit on the Same Truth
Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Lemonada Media
4.7 • 13.2K Ratings
🗓️ 22 July 2019
⏱️ 3 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | I'm Gretchen Rubin and this is a little happier. I love secrets of adulthood, |
| 0:05.2 | when a big idea can be summarized in a phrase or sentence. |
| 0:09.4 | Because of something called the fluency heuristic, it turns out that if it's easier to say or |
| 0:14.4 | think something, it seems more valuable. And that affects the secrets of adulthood. |
| 0:20.1 | For instance, an idea that's expressed in a rhyming phrase seems more convincing than the same idea |
| 0:25.6 | paraphrased in a non rhyming phrase. So you get what you get and you don't get upset. |
| 0:31.6 | It's much more convincing that take what's given to you without a bus. |
| 0:36.0 | And anytime something is expressed in a particularly succinct and powerful way, |
| 0:40.9 | it has more power in our minds. And I recently encountered an example of this. |
| 0:46.8 | My daughter Eleanor often gives me a sort of student review of her teachers and her teaching styles. |
| 0:51.8 | She does this without whining or complaining, but making constructive observations about what she |
| 0:57.3 | thinks is and isn't working. In fact, I've often suggested to her over the years that she write |
| 1:03.2 | a kind of student's guide to teaching more effectively, because her observation seems so helpful |
| 1:09.5 | to me. She shows absolutely no interest in doing this. But anyway, she's been making these |
| 1:14.8 | observations ever since she was very young. And I remember that when she was really young, |
| 1:19.9 | she told me how it bothered her about one of her teachers that that teacher has favorites. |
| 1:27.0 | When she told me that, my response was something that perhaps was not admirable, but I think |
| 1:31.4 | understandable and apparent. I said, well, how does the teacher feel about you? And she said, |
| 1:37.6 | I'm one of her favorites. But still, that makes me like her less. Because maybe I'm a favorite now. |
| 1:44.4 | But the fact that I'm a favorite now means that I could not be a favorite. |
| 1:49.5 | At the time, I remember being impressed that such a young child could understand this fact about |
| 1:54.0 | the way the world works. As it happens just recently, my father was telling me a story about |
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