Hey Jim Daley here. If you like the focus on the family broadcast and haven't

grown tired of this voice just yet, you'll love my ReFocus podcast. On ReFocus I

take a deeper dive with a respected thinker on different aspects of culture. I

ask those hard questions that maybe they don't get that often and I don't

shy away from challenging topics to help you share God's grace, truth, and love

with others. So listen to ReFocus with Jim Daley on your favorite streaming app

today.

Listening to your spouse takes some intentionality and many people struggle

with that, but today we're going to give you some tips for being a good

listener. I'm John Fuller joined by my focus colleagues Aaron and Greg

Smalley and Greg. I wonder how you've learned to improve in your listening

skills. I wonder if there's a tip or two you might share with us. Yeah, I think

for me, my natural instinct anytime that Aaron maybe sharing something that's

frustrating or hurtful that we've gone through is to defend myself. And I'm

just it's just a knee jerk reaction. Like no thought I just go into defensive

mode. And I think what's been really helping me as of late is it's almost like

I have to self-sooth and say in my brain to myself, stop defending, just repair.

And the idea that Aaron and I really been focused on in our own marriage is, you

know, when we have these hard moments, you know, instead of worrying about the

solution or any of that kind of stuff, what does repair look like? Repair just

simply means that I want to care about whatever Aaron's experience was. However,

she felt and she wants to do that for me. And that's given me a real clear goal, a real

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