We have another saying that's just actually a teacher Rodney Smith likes to talk about the subtle aggression of self-improvement this idea that Rose can get better and better and you know transform ourselves.

That's an aggressive act, right? It needs to be balanced with self-acceptance. Yeah, I'll try my best, you know, do my best. I'll put energy if it seems like a good wise use of time.

But at the end of the day, my self-worth isn't contingent on achieving those goals or on improving. Right now, in the full mess that I am, the broken human being that I am, I can fully love it except myself right now in this moment. Nothing else needed.

I'm Srinie Rao and this is the unmistakable creative podcast where you get a window into the stories and insights of the most innovative and creative minds who've started movements, built driving businesses, written best selling books and created insanely interesting art.

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Kristen, welcome to the unmistakable creative. Thanks so much for taking time to join us. I'm sure I'm happy to be here.

Yeah, well, this is my pleasure to have you here. So I actually just finished reading your book, self-compassion, the proven power of being kind to yourself.

And it's a book that your work had been referenced in so many of the hundreds of books that I've read.

And you'd had been on my list for a long time to talk to when I thought, you know, given everything that's going on in the world right now, this was just really a relevant subject to actually talk about.

But before we get into your work, I want to start by saying what I think is really fitting question given your background that is what social group real part of in high school and how did that influence in shape who you've become and what you've ended up doing with your life.

That's a really interesting question. Okay, so I am a California girl grew up in with the high school in the early 80s when new wave hit.

New wave group I had cheese hair that stuck up I wore lots of makeup.

And so I wasn't one of the popular girls, but I wasn't a click of about five girls and we were kind of the alternative new wave girls.

So how did that influence my work?

You know, I suppose it influenced it in the sense that I've never really considered myself part of the mainstream, you know, and I was kind of had a slightly.

Not the new wave was so radical really, but back in the 1980 was radical.

And so I suppose in that way I've never really considered myself part of the mainstream doing things a standard way.

And perhaps that influence my willingness to look at self-compassion as a construct in psychology, you know, it had it been studied before because I guess I was comfortable being a little bit out of the mainstream.

Well, I mean, that tendency to go against the grain is an interesting paradox because you know, as a culture, we reward and we encourage it when it works.

But when somebody does it, we discourage it. So you know, how do you how do you resolve that because I think that, you know, creative people in particular like many of the people in the show have these things that they want to do with their lives.

And you know, they resist that temptation. I know this from having grown up in the Indian culture.

It's like this constant battle because you know, he's just writing about this this morning about the fact that I hadn't thought about this in probably a decade.

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