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Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Listener Favorite: "I'm almost 40 and still living paycheck to paycheck”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Business, Investing, Society & Culture

4.63.1K Ratings

🗓️ 19 December 2025

⏱️ 86 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today, we’re revisiting one of our favorite Money For Couples episodes of the year. Update: Romy and Travis recently shared an update on YouTube about where they are now. You can watch it here.  Romy and Travis’s story struck a chord with listeners because it shows what really happens when a couple is earning good money…but operating with completely different expectations, habits, and fears around money. This episode is a perfect example of how old patterns can quietly shape a relationship—and what it takes to break them. If you missed it the first time, or want a refresher, this is one of the most revealing conversations of the year. In this episode: • Why Travis believes he can always “go fishing” to make money • How their childhoods shaped their attitudes toward money • The emotional weight Romy carries as the only planner • The story behind Romy’s secret UK savings • Their unclear approach to buying property • How disorganized thinking affects everything from taxes to tipping • The risks of having no real emergency fund • Why Travis’s role as the “reassurer” holds them back • How Ramit helps them redefine generosity • The first steps toward rebuilding trust Chapters: 00:00 — “I tapped my card and it said insufficient funds” 09:23 — “I’m living the same financial life as my parents” 18:13 — Breaking down their numbers 38:14 — The weight of taking on the “man’s” role 52:48 — “I’ve been poor before—I’ll be poor again” 1:02:08 — Living on hope, not numbers 1:12:05 — “We’re doing this together” 1:28:56 — Where are they now? Romy & Travis Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I'm like almost 40 and I'm in the situation still.

0:02.7

I'm going to tap my card and there's nothing there.

0:05.3

And it says insufficient funds.

0:07.2

I think because we've always been able to work, I've never worried about it.

0:11.3

My parents were always worried about money, like always worried about money.

0:15.3

And then 10 years ago, my dad died and my mom was left without even one dollar.

0:20.6

That caused a lot of anxiety.

0:22.8

Romi, you've said you're carrying the full financial and emotional burden.

0:27.9

Do you feel like you are in a true partnership?

0:31.2

No.

0:31.6

I'm upset.

0:32.9

I'm upset hearing it spelled out of me and I'm upset that my wife feels that way. I think lately I've become a bit

0:39.1

almost like hopeless. You don't know your own income. You fight about $5 expenses and by the way your

0:44.4

investments are $45 off of $130,000. This is a major problem. Listen to what this couple wrote in

0:51.0

their application. We don't have much savings, and I often lie awake

0:56.1

at night worrying. When I try to sit down with him, it often ends in an argument. My mom was a

1:02.4

warrior and my dad an avoider. The day my dad passed away, suddenly my mom was left with zero

1:10.0

dollars. Today I'm speaking with Romi and Travis.

1:13.3

They've been married for six and a half years. They live in South Africa. Romi carries the

1:17.5

burden of planning and saving and worrying. Travis avoids responsibility, spends freely.

1:25.5

They've repeated the exact same pattern that Romi grew up watching,

1:30.3

and now she is desperate to break it. Let's take a look at their numbers. We're going to go

...

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