I'm Claire Parker and I'm Ashley Hamilton and this is Celebrity Memor, but Club, up top you guys I'm gonna give you are now a weekly reminder that this is the podcast

podcast where best friends and comedians Claire Parker and Ashley Hamilton really read the memoirs that you don't have to and then add their opinion that nobody asked for. If you are listening though from here on out you're officially asking for our opinion because it is our podcast where we opine it is an opine cast so that's the kind of hot tags you're in for if you listen to this podcast they will be sometimes cruel and they will be snarky and sardonic we are never trying to be cruel it's just in our conti-ass nature

sometimes got a little too mean and we don't even want to we love these celebrities except Steve O we want the best for them we want to read these books learn about them and learn who they are in their own words and sometimes we get a little mean we don't mean it as a fair analysis and I'm just saying that if you get mad at us for being mean that's your fault at this point and if you come to our reviews to tell us that you hate us and that we're stupid you are actually being just as mean as we are being and

why don't you start by being the change you wish to see in the world that being said our little squirmy warme is the listeners the bookworms we love you with all of our hearts I don't know if you know this but Ashley is officially in the hospice care section of her life she I am I'm over the hill I hit the hill and now I'm rolling down it she's getting all cut up on forks and knives what's what are there forks and knives on the hill I couldn't think of what would be on a hill pebbles we want to say thank you so much like so much

for days 44 and rara you guys are keeping Ashley going I actually have a year and a half of life juice left in me yeah but

Ashley should have been dead for hours hours ago and I have one thing keeping me going and today pacemaker powered by five star reviews

so thank you guys actually that being said what was the name of your memory this week I would title my memoir this week let's get sorted

so our DID sort like a sorting of files so RTE do yes I was gonna spell and then I was like I don't know that I could

so I'm just trying to get organized I I have determined that 30 is just a number just another day in the calendar you know I was worried that I would all of a sudden become old and decrepit and I stayed out till 6 am on the night of my birthday and only slept for two hours and

emerged only stronger so yeah you look strong thank you not physically strong but mentally I have a mental toughness to me now that cannot be stopped by America's youth anyway what I do need is I did realize I was like okay I am technically older I do technically have a clock attached to my biology I was on the phone with my grandma last night and she is pretty live it that I haven't found the love of my life yeah and she was like you need to just get on those websites I have a new computer she was like you need to open that fancy

new computer of yours you don't have to sign up for a website but just browse browse the Jews and see if there's anyone that you want she wants me to just take a look around see if I can find a lover and I say you know what I will do I'll try better I think I can be a little cavalier with my relationships and love life and I think that I need to take it a tie I'm not saying I'm about to get serious I'm saying I'll take a tiny bit more seriously tell them what happened to you this week you got sent flowers by a boy I did get sent flowers by a boy I don't know

if that's a boy that I don't take seriously but it was cool so my parents came to town and surprised me and this guy that I've been on one date with sent me flowers to my apartment but we have not exchanged last names yet so it was addressed to Ashley not sure funny and then my parents were like how do you know your address and I was like I don't know

did he know your address you remembered it I guess he just remembered it when he was leaving I'm a dumb slut you guys know you're not your smart slut okay it was a fun weekend I had a nice time even though I feel 25 and a half I don't think I can live like I'm 25 and a half so that's what I've determined but I don't feel old or gross or or bad I just feel like I'm like maybe I should you know

act like a kind of an adult sometimes not all the time you pay your own rent you make your own breakfast I don't know what else do adults do I don't really eat breakfast okay well I guess that's a place to start Claire yes what would you title your chapter of your memoir this week the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step beautiful thank you so much did you make that up oh

it's just a way of looking at the world that I've been using as a lens sort of I feel free to adopt it but definitely it's mine and definitely nobody I thought of it before I quit last Tuesday so I'm technically still on the clock until June 22nd and I'm just kind of starting to get much like you my life into order and figure out how I'm going to fill my time how I'm going to make this work and good luck to me mostly I say I think best of luck to you in your next adventure thanks

and I hope that for me for you because oh are we tied at the hips when it comes to success huh should we talk about this week's book yes actually yeah Claire let's talk about our book this week lily Allen my thoughts exactly what were your thoughts exactly I was just going to say that it you damn what were your thoughts exactly on Lily Allen okay so when I lived in Los Angeles when I was a young sprout but 20 years old I had

a free trial of serious XM in my car and so I would listen to BBC radio one all the time and that was a big lily Allen time so I was always listening to Lily Allen lady sovereign Jesse J the whole

life so I fell in love with Ferncott and the presenter I didn't know that much about her personal life other than that she was quite

brash in the press what were your thoughts exactly I thought exactly we're not that many at all one of those things were like oh my god I knew every single one of her hit songs I like

didn't realize what a hit she was I feel like she's one of those people that she thought I was kind of indie to like her I don't know if you know this but I

famously believe I discovered Kesha on YouTube I now realize that that was what they wanted me to believe that they

are record labels had tricked me into thinking that and so even though I am a fool I'm a fool in the hands of some of the most brilliant minds in

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