Three minutes after 12 is the time. You're listening to James O'Brien on LBC and, well, you know what happens now. It's Mystery Hour. If you don't know what happens now, you're in for a bit of a treat. I usually make two guarantees at this point. I'm not going to make them today. Actually, no, I will make them today. You will know more by 1 o'clock today than you do now. I promise you. You have to listen, obviously. If you turn the radio off and go, stick your head in the bath, you won't know more than you do now. But if you keep listening

until 1 o'clock, you will know more than you do now. It may not be knowledge that you're

grateful for or indeed find any useful or indeed can remember by half past one. But at 1 o'clock,

you will know more than you do now. And the second guarantee I make is you will have one laugh-out loud moment, although I'm not giving refunds on that this week, because if you're listening last week, you had so many laugh-out loud moments, but frankly, I'm well into credit at the moment on that.

What's he talking about?

Well, you ring me on the usual number, 035-606093, with a question to which you know there must be an answer but you don't know what the answer is.

Could be a who, a why, a when, a wherefore, a whither, a whence, anything you like.

Why do we do this? Where does that come from? What's that all about? When I do that, if that happened, what would that do?

The origin of this and that and the other. Knowledge, knowledge, knowledge. We love knowledge. And someone listening will know the answer.

You're not allowed to look stuff up. If someone asks the question, you think, oh, I'll look that up, and then I'll ring in, and I'll get on the radio, and I might get one of James's lovely, shiny rounds of applause.

You won't. You'll get your wrist slapped. Because when I ask what your qualifications are, you will explain to me how you know the knowledge what you have just imparted to the rest of us. 034-6-0973 remains the number that you need whether you are providing answers or questions.

Don't be boring. That's the only real rule that we can enforce and it's pretty much in the eye of the beholder. So if your question, if the answer to your question is unlikely to be of interest to

anyone except you, then think very long and hard before asking it. Caroline and Rosie have to sort an awful lot of chaff in order to find the wheat that we deal with every week. And part of that chaff is repetition. You can avoid ringing in with the question that we've dealt with before by having a little look at the LBC archive. Over at LBC.co.uk. You can see the Mystery Hour

archive and get a steer on whether or not we've dealt with it before. Do you remember, a few

of you reminded me of this, a fellow yesterday, actually, I should say hello to Isaac, who

delivered my A Cardo delivery. I opened a front door, the poor fellow nearly fainted. It turns out

he's one of the biggest fans of the program in town and it just, it was sweet. So, Isaac, I hope you're listening. I hope you're not sort of, you know, cartons into somebody's kitchen at this moment in time. Hello, Isaac. But a few people have said to me outside of the street, what happened to that bloke who moaned that there wasn't enough time to answer his question? So he was going to ring back the week later. He never rang back did he? Do you remember? About three weeks ago? We went to someone at about 11, about 1256. I said, we haven't really got time for your question. Do you want to ask it now? Do you only went? Well, I've been on hold for a very long time. No, I think I'll ring back next way. Brian, I can't remember.

Anyway, if you're listening, sir, quick, get in touch. We'll give you a special treatment today.

Six minutes after 12. Should we crack on? Have you got an idea of what we're doing? Have I forgotten any of the rules, the regulations, the rubric?

Let's go to Christian, who's in Brighton. Christian, question or answer?

Question, please, James?

Carry on. Uh, so my, my partner, bless her, is celiac.

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