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Find Your Food Voice

LF 054: I'm making peace with food yet at war with family (with Barbara Spanjers)

Find Your Food Voice

Julie Duffy Dillon RDN

Mental Health, Nutrition, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 750 Ratings

🗓️ 23 January 2017

⏱️ 30 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

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Have you finally settled into intuitive eating and experiencing more food peace? Yet, do you have trouble talking to close family who are still engaged in dieting? Or, feel conflicted with friends in their pursuit of weight loss when you have finally embraced your innate wisdom? 

Are you having trouble supporting friends and family who are still on the diet track without pushing them away? 

Listen now for some ideas and solutions on how to tackle this difficult issue.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

Key Points:

  • It's still January, which means it's still National Dieting Month! Find some respite from diet talk with my hashtag, #foodpeace, or email me at LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.
  • Intuitive eating and healing our relationship to food and our body is a long, difficult process, but it's worth it!
  • Intuitive eating: a way to relate to food that rejects diets and encourages people to connect to their internal body cues in order to know when to eat and what to eat.
    • 3 Components: Unconditional permission to eat, to rely on your own hunger and fullness cues, and eating for physical rather than emotional reasons.
    • It may sound simple, but it's not easy!
  • NPR's #SoAnyway Project: helped to guide people through political discourse with friends and family over the holidays after the 2016 Presidential election by giving alternative conversation starters and topics to focus on.
    • Take a page out of their book! Have a bunch of topics ready as conversation changers for when diet talk comes up and you just want to avoid and redirect.
  • Barbara Spanjers, Marriage and Family Therapist, joins for more insight and therapeutic guidance to help navigate this further.
  • When you start to heal your own relationship to food it is really hard to ignore the diet talk all around you!
  • Diet talk is everywhere in our society, it often is a bonding mechanism for women, and it frequently comes from the people we love... so how do we set those difficult boundaries? How do we find the balance between maintaining our relationships, not alienating those that think differently then we do, and not compromising our own recovery?
  • When people are discussing their diet plans, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! This is something super key to remember when these conversations are happening around you. It's not about you, it's about them, and approaching them with compassion rather than thinking they are making snide suggestions about you and your anti-diet decisions can be extremely helpful!
  • Barbara's Stranger Things analogy: When you heal your relationship with food, you enter a place that others can't even comprehend! You may feel like they're trying to drag you back down, but really it's that they can't see what you can see. You are living in a completely different universe.
  • Changing the subject and shifting it is totally an option! Approach conversation topics with self-compassion and radical self-love, and see what happens!
    • For example, if someone says, "Wow, I'm just so fat," you can respond with, "Oh, well I love you just the way you are!" You stop the diet talk in its tracks, meet your friend or family member with love and compassion, and maybe even begin to challenge their negative self-talk.
  • People with different ways of living can still have loving relationships.
  • Cognitive dissonance: when two opposing thoughts occupy one person's mind, causing tension.
  • The more you try to teach someone an alternative perspective, the more people dig in their heels and cling to their beliefs. If we can understand this reaction more, we can approach friends and family with our alternative point of view in a more effective way.
  • Compassion is key!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series. Give me feedback via Twitter @EatingPermitRD.

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This episode is sponsored by my friends at Green Mountain at Fox Run.

Free 4-Week Email Course: #BeHerNow

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TAKE TIME TO INVEST IN YOU.

It’s time to shine the light on yourself and make YOURSELF the priority. Here at Green Mountain at Fox Run, we’re all about embracing and supporting yourself through self-care. Through powerful tools such as mindfulness techniques, stress management skills, and movement that is customized to your body and fitness level, you’ll learn to practice self-care in your daily life. Visit https://www.fitwoman.com/for more information.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

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worsen, seek help immediately. Get started today by talking to your health care provider or

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visiting meetrejoin.com. That's meet r-e-j-o-y-n.com. This episode of the Love Food podcast is brought to you by Green

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Mountain at Fox Run, the pioneering women's retreat to help you find peace with food, fitness, and your

0:50.1

body. Through powerful tools such as mindfulness, stress reduction techniques, and mindful

0:55.5

movement, you'll learn to eat, move, feel, and live in the moment. Visit fitwoman.com

1:03.1

forward slash love food for more information. Say goodbye to the food police and hello to peace.

1:09.9

Welcome to the Love Food podcast hosted by award-winning

1:13.0

dietitian and food behavior expert Julie Duffy Dillon. This authentically engineered series

1:18.6

is in the form of a love letter welcoming you to reconnect with food. Now pour a cup of coffee

1:24.1

or a margarita and let's begin.

1:41.1

Hi and welcome to episode 54 of the Love Food Podcast.

1:46.2

I am Julie Duffy Dillon, registered dietitian, and food peace promoter.

1:53.6

I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for connecting today. And I have spoken to many people over the last year who've experienced the Love Food podcast and let me know that they are finally living without diets or at least

2:04.9

making strides toward that. And I hope you know how full that makes my heart. It just makes me

2:11.5

so happy. And a lot of times people tell me one of the big stumbling blocks for them is when they engage in conversations with their family and close friends.

2:23.8

And these very important people in their life are still engaged in dieting and the pursuit of weight loss and detoxes and grueling exercise routines and doing these things that

2:37.5

really you've disconnected from because, you know, you've kind of connected to the fact that

...

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