Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about letting your partner make mistakes with smaller things. So, you've decided

to repaint your kitchen. It's been years, and both you and your partner

are excited about all the possibilities. You go to the paint store and look at swatch after

swatch of all the different colors. You prefer soft, subtle colors, but your partner, who is much

more into decorating, wants to go with

something bold and brand new, and chooses bright yellow. You totally disagree with this choice,

but your partner is adamant, so you choose to go with their decision, even though you think

it's a huge mistake. Fast forward two weeks.

Bright yellow is all over your kitchen walls. Every morning it's like walking into the blinding sun.

You hate it. And so does your partner. And one day they admit to you they feel horrible about their choice.

If you now have the urge to blurt out, I told you so, stop. Because when you're dealing with

small decisions in your life together, it all comes down to one single question. Would you rather

be right or have a successful relationship?

The thing is, supporting each other, even when you disagree on smaller things, will strengthen

your friendship, which is the foundation of every successful relationship.

And standing behind your partner's decisions and facing the outcome together will make

you an even stronger team. So what do you do when you think your partner's decisions and facing the outcome together will make you an even stronger team.

So what do you do when you think your partner is making a decision that you're sure is the wrong one?

Maybe say, I disagree with your perspective on this, but I see this is important to you.

So I will support you on this decision. It'll remind them that you are taking on

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