You're listening to Comedy Central.

BAM!

Stock market. Do you guys celebrate the stock market?

Yeah. Well, maybe not today.

She was crashing, son.

Was the wildest thing I've ever seen.

She was like, red, red, red, red, red, red, red.

And then Bitcoin was also crashing, which makes no sense to me.

Because people tell me Bitcoin is the thing that's supposed to protect you from the market.

But then Bitcoin goes with the market, which makes no sense.

At one point, I tried to check my stock portfolio app.

And my app was just like, ah, maybe go play some wordle, buddy.

It's not a good day.

Actually, you know what? I feel bad for all the Wall Street guys

who jumped out of the window at noon.

Because the market rebounded and it came up higher at the end of the day.

So now, you know there's at least one guy who jumped out of the window.

And then it's like, ah, man, you got to wait till the end of the day to kill yourself, fellas.

You never know what the market's going to do.

Imagine jumping out the window and you're like, ah, and then as you falling down the building,

you're looking in the windows of your building, then you're seeing the thing go up and you're like, ah, no!

No, I'm rich, I'm rich!

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