I've got about 10 seconds to tell you how to get two-for-one tickets for top-draw comedy nights near you thanks to our friends of a TV channel day

at AbsoluteRadio.co.uk

Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win prizes while you're there too

I ran out of time though

AbsoluteRadio

This is AbsoluteRadio and it's the station all aboard for the next train

I'm trying to sound professional because in the process of getting ready for the next bit

I've just dropped a phone, moved everything out of the way and looked a little bit like Frank Spencer

It was the most cool sick four seconds I've ever witnessed in my life

I don't like stuff around me, you know you have stuff around you I found my brain can't cope with too much stuff around me

If I go to the supermarket I feel sick because there's just too much information

All right it's not a great catchphrase to start the show

So, I believe, man, I feel sick in supermarkets

Razor lights

The phones off the hook

I've left the phone off the hook that's a good thing because then the phone won't ring

Is that good or bad? We leave the phone on the hook

Okay, good morning Gareth, good morning Emily, how are we?

Good morning

It's been a hell of a week, isn't it? Last week when I was on there was the general mood of the nation

Was one of utter depression

I'd like to point out this wasn't connected with the fact that I was on

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