I've got about 10 seconds to tell you how to get two-for-one tickets for top-draud comedy nights near you, thanks to our friends of the TV channel Dave at Absolute Radio.com.

Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win prices while you're there, too.

I've run out of time, though.

Absolute Radio.

This is Absolute Radio, and it's a station.

All aboard for the next train. I'm trying to sound professional because in the process of getting ready for the next bit, I've just dropped a phone, moved everything out the way and looked a little bit like Frank Spencer. It was the most chaotic four seconds I've ever witnessed in my life. I don't like stuff around me. You know you have stuff around you.

I find my brain can't cope with too much stuff around me.

If I go to the supermarket, I feel sick because there's just too much information. All right, it's not a great catchphrase to start the show. So I'm Lee Mac and I feel sick in supermarkets. Raise a light. The phone's off the hook, Lou. I've left the phone off the hook.

That's a good thing because then the phone won't ring, is that good or bad?

Do we leave the phone on the hook?

Okay.

Good morning, Gary.

Good morning, Emily.

How are we?

Hi, Lee. I've left the phone off the hook, that's a good thing, because then the phone won't ring, is that good or bad? Do we leave the phone on the hook? Okay.

Good morning, Gary. Good morning, Emily. How are we? Hi, Lee. It's been a hell of a week, isn't it? It has. Last week when I was on, the general mood of the nation was one of utter depression. I'd like to point out this wasn't connected with the fact that I was on. this was me reflecting the situation

because of course England

were looking like they might not qualify

but now how... with the fact that I was on, this was me reflecting the situation. Because, of course, England were looking like they might not qualify. But now, how things have changed now. Oh, yeah. We've effectively won the World Cup, haven't we? Yes, which worries me if that does happen. Because then we'll have to say Sir John Terry, which I personally have a bit of a problem with. Do you think that? What level would they have to get to? What stage would they get the night had to come out? I don't know. We'd have to win, surely. Sir John Terry. I liked his save, though. He was that man from Atlantis when he dived in front of the goal. He literally tried to put his face in front of the ball, didn't they? It's a great shot. I look, the photograph of his face just got, go on, don't get past my face. Do you understand this, Gareth?

I did, but didn't he? It's a great shot. I look at the photograph of his face. It's got, go on, they get past my face.

Do you understand this, Gareth?

I did, but didn't he just fall over? Did he definitely do that on purpose? Because I do that quite a lot just walking down the road. Yeah, but Gareth, to be fair, he did, he sort of fell and then lunged forward. If you fall like that, you're going to look like a lunatic.

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