Learning From Resentment

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Sexuality, Mental Health, Education

4.7 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 1 July 2026

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Resentment shows up when we've given more than we can back up, when we've gone along with something we never actually wanted, or when we've given with strings attached — hoping that giving will lead to being loved or appreciated more. But resentment is more than just a feeling, it's a signal worth paying attention to. We can let our resentments smolder under the surface, or we can use them to better understand ourselves, our desires, and where we need to be more honest with ourselves and others. In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Susie Pettit of the Love Your Life Show to talk about resentment, the difference between selflessness and self-erasure, and what it actually takes for women to step fully into their own lives, their relationships, and their desire. LAST CHANCE for The Art of Desire Retreat (there won't be another until 2028!)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Our resentments are often indicators of places that we are giving more than we can back up
0:05.7	or that we have a covert contract in our giving. When we give, but we are hoping we will be given to
0:12.8	or that this will lead to you loving me more or appreciating me more, that then that exposure,
0:20.7	you know, is like, okay, there's something there I need to deal
0:23.3	within myself. What is the thing that I want? What is the thing that I'm not getting? How have I been
0:29.3	participating in being taken advantage of if that's the case?
0:50.8	Yeah. Welcome to Conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more.
0:53.4	All featuring Dr. Finlayson-Fife.
1:05.3	Welcome to the Love Your Life Show, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife.
1:07.2	I am so excited to have you here.
1:13.1	It's so fun to connect with you before this interview. I just, I just love podcasts and for the opportunity to meet other people, you know, quote unquote, in real life and
1:19.2	have a connection. And I'm grateful that you took time to come on the show today.
1:23.2	Well, thanks for having me. Good to be here. Yeah, I'm psyched. And I really wanted to have you on in case my
1:29.4	listeners have not heard of you, which is very possible they haven't because I find like some people,
1:34.6	like if they've heard of you, they've heard everything about you and they're just like deep dive,
1:39.0	but then others are like, huh? And I'm like, oh my gosh, wait, let me share something with you.
1:43.4	And specifically, you were just a master with marriages and relationships and speak of them
1:49.4	in an empowering way that many don't in my own life.
1:53.2	You've really helped me get rid of resentment and step into a more mature way of relating.
2:01.0	And so I would just love to start,
2:03.8	specifically speaking of the whole framework for relationships that you have,
2:08.7	just saying that they're containers for our development or they're people developers,
	...

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