It is three minutes after 10 and you are listening to James O'Brien on LB. Well, you know that. Frankly, I don't know why you do it. I don't know why you tune in every morning. I'm so unreliable and inconsistent. I've changed my mind in the last three minutes about what we're going to open the show with today. That's not the sort of levels of professionalism you expect from the biggest show in town, is it? Honestly, you'd think that if I start talking about something at one minute to ten,

you could at least rely upon the fact that that would be what we would be talking about three minutes after ten.

But my attention has been dragged back to the political landscape as opposed to the situation in GP surgeries,

which we will hopefully get on to a little later in the

programme.

First, though, a word from Simon.

Can James please address two important questions today?

This programme, as I often observe, is nothing without listeners, and you are as welcome

to offer up subjects for discussion as, well, almost as welcome as I am.

How many listeners have had platy jubes stuck in their head since yesterday? And secondly, how many times have they had to stop themselves saying it out loud? Simon, let it go. Seriously, embrace the platy jubes. That is what all the cool kids are calling it. I have it on impeccable authority from all the cool kids. Everyone is calling it platy juice.es. Everybody groovy is calling it platy jubes. So if you want to be groovy, Simon, call it the platy jubes. Let go of these ludicrous restraints that you're putting upon your freedoms. Honestly, it's the plattie jubes all day long. And like Nick, actually, I clock off for a couple of days at one o'clock today so this is our final time together this week

I'm going to do something that I think we've probably done before but not in this context I'm only going to allow calls

in a horribly one-sided way I'm only going to allow calls from people who voted conservative in 2019.

And I don't think I'm quite cocky enough at this point to sort of slice it still further and say

that you did so largely because of Boris Johnson's personal political appeal. I'm not going to go that far.

You may have voted Conservative while holding your nose about the leadership. I voted Labor

while holding my nose about the leadership, so I'm certainly not in any position to throw

stones about that particular process. But this is what I want to know now. I just want to genuinely be more of an

opinion pollster than a pungently opinionated presenter today. You shouldn't use that many

peas when you're on the radio because the way the technology works, they don't like peas.

Plosives are the enemy of a sensitive microphone. Did you know that? I've had to sort of

D-P-Fi. It's an unfortunate word. I shall rephrase that. I've had to, I've had to moderate the plosiveness of my P's over the years behind this microphone, because if I go in too hard on the peas, it comes out of your radio in quite an unpleasant way, I believe. That's right, isn't it? That's a sort of technological,

obviously, nearly 20 years I've been doing this job.

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