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I'm Christopher Titus and whooos!

Is the Army getting update? Family values, right and wrong. How do you act in public?

You know, my whole life, it's been kind of a thing that the people we elected were supposed to be

better than we are smarter, more diplomatic, and they work for us. Or at least they did their

freaky stuff in a tunnel under the White House. Thanks JFK. Look, they used our taxes for important

things like roads and bridges and social programs, you know, government. And in fact, when they did

do something corrupt, evil, embarrassing, stupid, violent, or they lied, they resigned. They left.

Not anymore. We in America become a political reality television clown show where the bigger

douchebag you are, the more douchebags will vote for you. This is Lauren Bobert, a five-foot-one

firecracker of dumbass. She's 36. She has four kids and is a grandma because her 15-year-old

son got his girlfriend pregnant, you know, family values. We've covered this abomination to

democracy before. However, this week was, frankly, next level amazing. Bobert has said she's all

about integrity. She's anti-abortion and pro-family values. And she loves Broadway plays. This is

video of her in the audience in Colorado at a road company performance of Beetlejuice with a date

because, you know, she's getting a divorce. Family values. She's vaping in the theater,

smoking during the show. And when a pregnant woman behind her asks her to stop, she allegedly says

suck it, fatty. Allegedly. Family values. Then while she is spaz dancing during the play,

the man she is on her first day with grabs her teeth and gives her a breast massage. And she allows

it. Family values. In fact, at one point, she decides to reciprocate with a crotch massage for her

...