It's the radio segment that's helping you be more productive with a new cosmetic surgery called bi-oral augmentation, or in layman's terms, surgically adding a second smaller mouth.

So now you can talk to your best friend with one mouth while you eat with the other.

Perfect.

I'm convenient.

I am so glad you were only eating with that second mouth at the same time, Jeff.

You can do whatever you want with that other mouth while you're doing something else with the other.

Only downside is if you puke, it does go out both holes.

You'll figure that out later, though, with laser stories.

This segment where we read, weird news stories from around the globe out of one mouth,

just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

Those other monomouths just don't.

This first laser story is out of Los Angeles.

A man named David Malcolm flew back home to L.A. last weekend and couldn't find his luggage at the baggage

claim. Oh, shocking.

Luckily for him, he had an air tag inside,

so he checked to see where it was

and saw it was moving

away from the airport.

Did someone accidentally grab it? That's what I always think. Or on purpose. He wasn't sure, but he did realize it had been taken. So he jumped in an Uber and started chasing after it. And eventually, the tag stopped at a boarded up abandoned building about half mile away. Yeah, this is good. I can't feel. Yeah, just drop me off of the corridor.

I'm just going to go check it out by myself. No, he called the cops first. Oh, good. That's good. And when they showed up, officers shined flashlights inside the building, and they saw some movement. So they slowly went inside with David next to them. At one point they up a door, and on the other side of it, there was a man standing

there wearing all of David's clothes.

Oh, my gosh.

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