Two hopeless daters.

One dating app that dares you to swipe right.

The question is, whose love life is more tragic.

It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

It's the dating game show that encourages you to start every first date by asking how fertile they are on a scale of one to the Dugger family.

Oh my gosh.

Okay, we're there, huh?

That's what we're doing now?

It's Battle of the Tinder dates where two of our listeners go head to head to find out

whose love life is the most tragic.

We'll go over the rules in just a second, but first, let's meet today's contestants.

In this corner, she'll let you know she's in the mood by letting one large drop of saliva

fall from her mouth down onto your pant leg.

Meet Julia, Julia.

Hey.

Keep a little handkerchief next to you and wipe it up.

And in the other corner, she loves giving erotic back massages using the two plastic baby hands she keeps in her nightstand.

Say hello to Tiny Lim Kim.

Hi, boys, you're welcome.

I can be annoying. A tiny hand back welcome. I don't know.

A tiny hand back rub? I don't know. Maybe just really get in those little spots. Oh, the little lots. Feels so right. Here's how the game works. One contestant will start by telling one of their worst date stories. Then the other will try and counter with a nightmare story of their own. We're going back and forth for three rounds until we declare a winner. Let's start it off with Julia Julia.

Go for it.

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