It's the radio segment that's making your bathroom breaks even more productive with the new

curig toilet so you can brew while doing it too. Order one curig toilet now get 13 more

absolutely free. Why are they giving away so many for free?

It's to be extra productive.

Thanks to laser stories.

This segment where we read weird news stories around the globe

just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

Those other flushichinos just don't.

This first laser story is out of

Plattsburgh, New York.

Family of four is dealing with a pretty tricky porch pirate who recently stole a large package from their front stoop.

Hey nobody got time for that?

That is seriously the worst.

Yeah.

This box was a return, which was supposed to be picked up by FedEx.

Oh.

And this wasn't a particularly easy theft either, because the box was left inside a bin that had

a sign alerting FedEx to the hiding spot.

Oh.

So when the family realized that another one was also stolen, it had been four over the last

two weeks, they went to their newly installed ring cam and realized it was the neighborhood raccoon.

Oh, what?

...