Hello, it's laser stories.

It's the radio segment that's strongly denying that he spread the online rumor.

Prince Harry only wears SpongeBob underwear.

I hope that's true.

I mean, he's probably got some Donald Duck and Dibbitty Dog underwism there too.

Oh, come on, a little he-man old school.

It's the official stance of laser stories. Yeah. This segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those other fruit of the dooms just don't. This first laser story is out of Oakland. Okay. An officer was in a grocery store parking lot when he saw a Honda Civic backing into a spot with a temporary rear plate and no front plate.

Okay.

He ran a records check and found the vehicle had been reported stolen.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Here we go.

So the cops marched into the grocery store, found the driver Joe Shastain and asked him if he could empty his

pockets. A quick search found several stolen credit cards, a fraudulent check, a stolen driver's

license. Damn. Just all in his pockets? And mailbox keys, but it was the to-do list that

piqued the officer's interest. Because the list read, one, laundry, two, talk to kids, three, get some money, and four, boost.

Yeah, ha.

I do not get it, but okay.

If you weren't aware, boost is slang for stealing or shoplifting.

Oh, yeah.

But his kids were above that on the to-do list.

It didn't say his kids.

...