It's the radio segment that's come up with the next hot kitchen tech innovation called

The Fridge Biday.

Clean your food and your backside all at the same time.

And trust me, you'll have the cleanest set of grapes in the entire neighborhood.

Thanks to laser stories.

The segment of where we read weird, weird news stories around the globe.

Weird weird, weird, weird stories, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

Those other squirtle myrtle murdles just don't.

This first laser story is out of Washington, D.C.

Police were called to the address of a vacant, boarded-up house after neighbors suspected

someone was trespassing because there was smoke coming from the chimney.

That's a good sign.

Oh my gosh, I'm starting a fire?

When the cops arrived, nobody would answer the door, but they could hear someone inside,

and wouldn't you know it?

Minutes later, they saw the guy climb out a second story window and onto the roof.

What?

Why not the first floor just out?

I think he was trying to escape.

He's like the dumb blonde in the horror film that runs up the stairs.

Oh my God, someone's here. I'm going to get in the shower. The runs up the stairs. Oh my god

someone's here. I'm going to get in the shower.

...