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Brooke and Jeffrey

Laser Stories (5/20/26)

Brooke and Jeffrey

iHeartPodcasts

Relationships, Society & Culture, Comedy

4.71.9K Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2026

⏱️ 8 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? Not really, but it doesn’t have to… it’s Laser Stories!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

It's the radio segment that's taking the idea from locks of love to launch a new charity called Beards of Benevolence.

0:12.7

Where bros can donate their facial hair to fellow bros who struggle to grow a full go-toe.

0:19.3

I would buy. I would be a buyer. Those heroes. Poor, poor men. How many parts of my body can I buy for? Just the face for this one. Donate your beards of benevolence to laser stories. The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those other follicle fieries just don't. This first laser story is out of Florida. Yay! A 62-year-old man named Robert Boston marched over to his neighbor's property at 3 a.m. a few weeks ago. Because he was pissed and on a mission. Uh-oh. Why can't you be pissed at like, I don't know, 9 a.m.? Yeah, maybe even 3 p.m. Uh-huh. The early morning is the best time to have your temper go off. Or is that late night? Because he was frustrated about a malfunctioning motion light. So he placed a ladder against the building, climbed up, yanked the floodlight off the wall, and left it on the ground.

1:14.4

Hey, nobody got time for that?

1:15.8

Oh, a floodlight.

1:17.3

Those are the worst.

1:18.6

Yeah.

1:19.4

Those will keep you up.

1:20.5

He ended up removing it so forcefully, he caused $800 in damages by pulling wiring loose from inside the house.

1:28.6

Dude, we did this on a neighbor, and all you have to do is unscrew the light bulb.

1:33.8

Oh, I'm just saying.

1:34.9

I thought you yanked it out of the.

1:35.8

People are so lazy.

1:37.1

It will take them months and months to put that light bulb back up.

1:41.4

Just unscrew it, yeah.

1:42.5

One other important detail, I don't know if it was the same as you, Brooke,

1:45.6

but Robert was also fully naked.

1:48.1

Yeah, baby.

1:50.0

Same?

1:51.5

I mean, if you're sleeping in the buff and you're trying to get some snooos.

1:56.1

This was 9 a.m.

1:57.2

I get it.

...

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