It's the radio segment that's revolutionizing the bottled water industry

where instead of going cleaner, they're going niche.

So why not plunk down five bucks for a pint of tap water from Mexico?

Hey, let's go.

Just something swimming in there? Oh my God, you're cloudy. Who cares? Down the hatch, you will lose 19 pounds in two days. Now that's true. Thanks to laser stories. Because of the parasite. The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those other Aguacitas just don't.

This first laser story is out of Colorado.

Yay!

38-year-old Claire Johnstone ordered a cheesecake from a local baker for her daughter's birthday.

Okay.

But what showed up was, well, something else.

What do you mean?

Claire paid $50 and received the flattest, goopiest cake anyone had ever seen.

Oh, gooby.

Goopy.

Goopie's never been a good word in baked goods.

No, and I'm showing a pick to my co-host right now.

The cheesecake is only one inch tall at its thickest point.

This is gross.

And that's only because there's some, like, jam spread on the top of it.

It's like the thickness of a pizza.

Like a flat bread.

Yeah, flat bread.

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