Hello, it's laser stories.

It's the radio segment that's starting a new reality TV show for billionaires called Bumper Yachts.

Round one, Bezos versus Buffett.

Loser has to buy Venezuela.

Why do I want them both to sink?

That's funny.

It's laser stories.

The segment of a read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,

except we've got a laser.

As other yacht gouts just don't.

This first laser story is out of Colorado.

You do this in a dugout?

No problem. Okay. Do it to a random woman on the street. Yeah. Big problem. Oh, are we talking about spitting here? I thought we were talking about slapping butts. Oh, wait a minute. There's a serial butt slapper on the loose. How am I not the creepy one? I'm thinking sunflower seeds.

Brooks thinking booty cheeks.

You guys, my daughter in third grade, I got a report from her teacher that she gives a good add-a-boy every once in a while.

And I wonder where she learned that from.

You taught her butt touching.

I'm like, you can't do that anymore, honey.

We can't slap the teacher's butt.

The teacher's butt. It all began when a woman in a Denver suburb was out jogging on New Year's Day when the unidentified guy drove up behind her on an e-bike and slapped her rear end. What do you get from that, dude? Like, guys, honestly. You get a punchable face.

Yes, yes, you do.

And hopefully an offense.

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