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Brooke and Jeffrey

Laser Stories (11/7/25)

Brooke and Jeffrey

iHeartPodcasts

Comedy, Society & Culture, Relationships

4.71.9K Ratings

🗓️ 7 November 2025

⏱️ 8 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, it's the radio segment that's revolutionizing flu season with the first ever rectal cough drops.

0:13.4

Do they work?

0:14.8

Why do you think I'm able to read this story without disruption?

0:17.8

You don't sound nasly at all.

0:19.3

I just took three of them a few minutes ago, and the menthol is working.

0:25.4

No cough, thanks to laser stories.

0:28.1

This segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

0:33.1

Those other reverse recolas just don't.

0:35.8

This first laser story is out of Maine.

0:38.3

America probably doesn't have the worst healthcare system in the world,

0:42.3

but sometimes it seems pretty comical.

0:46.3

And I say that because recently a large healthcare system in Maine is apologizing

0:51.3

after sending letters to 531 patients in hospitals and health care clinics,

0:56.0

telling them that they're dead.

1:01.0

There's at least two people that held their own funeral.

1:04.9

The letters expressed condolences and included information on how their next of kin could resolve their estates.

1:12.6

So you could break the news to your own family.

1:16.2

Wow.

1:16.8

Barbara, I hate to, I have to tell you this, but I'm dead.

1:20.3

I'm dead.

1:21.6

No tears, no tears, please.

1:23.5

Only a celebration in my honor.

...

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