It's the radio segment that's doing unboxing videos, but he's using a Thanksgiving turkey to store the presents in.

So watch him rip open that bird and find a pair of Nike high tops inside.

Oh my God, that's gross.

With laser stories in a segment where we read weird news stories from around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those other poultry pumps just don't. I thought they were going to be air gizzards. This first laser story is out of Germany. You've heard the phrase drunken debauchery, but how about some drunken de-butchery?

What?

Ooh, I like the play on words.

I don't know, but it sounds like there's knives involved and it doesn't sound safe.

Well, I bring it up because a 28-year-old guy in Frankfurt is facing charges after he got drunk at a bar, fell out a window,

landed in the courtyard of a butcher shop next door, and then broke in and started

eating all the man's sausages.

Um, yum, yum, yum, yum.

Yo, sausages are so good, though.

I mean, that is a kind of win-in- roam type of situation, right?

Yeah, come on.

God doesn't put you in that butchery for no reason.

I was meant to fall here.

Maybe the best part is that no one really caught him.

He called police on himself from inside the butcher's shop to tell them that he couldn't move because he ate too much.

Is anyone else worried that these aren't cooked sausages?

I'm just eating them raw.

So I feel like when a bear broke into that market and got drunk on honey and couldn't move.

Well, cops arrived.

...