Hello, it's laser stories.

It's the radio segment that's starting a masculine nail salon for men.

Oh, that's cool.

You can bring your nails, nuts, bolts, screws, whatever you have in there.

They'll file them, paint them, make them camouflage looking.

Yeah.

All nice and manly for your man projects.

Flame nails.

It's laser stories.

This segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does,

except we've got a laser.

Those other testosterone just don't.

This first laser story is out of the great state of Florida.

Yeah, let's start strong. 20-year-old Kyle Mortimer was dressed in a banana costume,

peeing on the side of a building recently.

A pedestrian saw this, flagged down a nearby cop who went over to check it out,

and that's when he quickly realized he wasn't dealing with the sharpest tool in the shed.

Because across the street from Kyle was a long row of porta-potties.

Go!

Could have been easily solved there.

Yeah, gone over there.

As the officer approached, Kyle the banana took off and started running in a zigzag pattern.

...