It's the radio segment that's launching a new clothing rental company called Silverstain.

It's for adult diapers.

Oh, Jeff, get out of here, no.

They send you 12 in the mail and you give back your best 10.

Oh, okay.

So gross.

Well, yeah, there's going to be two total mutters in there beyond repair.

They understand that.

Sign up for your six-month subscription with laser stories and use the code

Brooke for 10% off.

God ain't need to.

We're reading weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does. Except we've got a laser. Yes. And those other dependacenders just don't. I can't continue this segment. I'm actually done. Let's try. This first laser story is out of Ohio. 38-year-old Timothy Shilind was at home watching sports on TV.

When a commercial came on, it was for Ace Hardware, and it ended with their slogan,

Ace is the place with the help for hardware, folks.

All right.

So Timothy thought they might be able to help him.

So he promptly walked out of his house, took the bus 12 blocks and went to the store.

Once there, he asked an employee where the hedge clippers were.

Uh-oh.

Okay.

Why, uh-oh?

They pointed him out, and Timothy immediately used the clippers to cut off his court-ordered ankle monitor.

...