It's the radio segment whose father has the heart of a lion and a lifetime band from

the local big cat sanctuary.

The legendary Weird News stories round the globe, just like everyone else does, except

we have a laser.

Those other Mufasa mongers just don't.

This first laser story is out of China.

In 2009, a 33-year-old man named Lu Mofu robbed a gas station of 156-1, which is approximately

$24.

I don't know.

Those gas station robberies never work out the way people play on them to do that.

And then afterwards, he disappeared.

Wow.

That was a long time ago.

And still the other day, 14 years later, when Lu showed up at a police station to finally

turn himself in.

And he told authorities he'd been hiding out in a remote cave for a decade and a half.

Over $24.

Oh my god.

The big question is why.

Apparently, when Lu heard authorities were looking for him, he got scared and found his

hiding spot a mile away from town, then managed to survive by hunting and scavenging for food.

Wow.

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