Landlords, who were your tenants from hell?

When I was a little kid, my parents bought a cheap house in a neighbouring town and fixed it up to rent.

Two young women moved in, and they were great.

Just out of college, working entry level, and kind of getting by, no trouble.

They called at 6pm on Christmas Eve because there was a spider.

My dad called back when we got home from

church service and asked them what they wanted him to do. They said they wanted him to kill it.

So he went out on Christmas Eve to kill their spider. They seemed to think that this was normal,

like about on par with what you'd expect your landlord to do if your water pipes burst on Christmas

Eve. It was the least he could do given the situation. It's not a tenant from hell's story by any

stretch, but it does make me laugh. He told me that I wasn't allowed to move out until I could

kill my own spiders, because screw that. Oh, I have a couple of tenant from hell stories. In 2007, an older couple decided to quit

paying their rent, but they had pretty good excuses, so I didn't evict them until after three

months of not paying. Finally went down to the courthouse to file an unlawful detainer on them.

We finally had our day in court. The female, who was usually dressed nicely with fake nails and an expensive weave,

showed up looking like an old hag.

The guy was using a walker, which made me eye roll, this mother-fricker didn't need one,

and they claimed I was a slum lord and never fixed anything,

but I had receipts from every repair, including a new AC unit.

After I got the judgment against them, I tried to garnish the man's wages. They'd told me he worked for the Coca-Cola

company. Turns out that company had never heard of him, but after a little digging, I found out

they'd both been arrested for selling something with a very similar name, but in a white, powdery form.

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