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That's Better Help H-E-L-P.com. We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. So, You have accessed entry 696.

M.K1618.

Certificate number 527. That's a short certificate number.

Maybe the shortest ever.

Laitrill.

Twice, Mr. Vale was told by doctors he had terminal cancer and twice he survived and gave much of the credit to eating apricot seeds for the leatrittl inside which some people consider an alternative anti-cancer agent.

Could you and I both love to talk about Pat. a holding off in releasing our own homeopathic medicine cabinet which is going to have 11

different medicines guaranteed to...

...