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The Virtual Couch

Ladders Make Crummy Shovels - 3 Metaphors That Lead to a Lifetime of Happiness

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 8 June 2021

⏱️ 32 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Have you ever felt like you’re in a vicious game of tug-of-war with the struggles in your life? Afraid that if you don’t pull hard enough you’ll fall into the bottomless pit in front of you? What would happen if you dropped the rope in the tug-of-war with anxiety, depression, or fear? Or have you heard the metaphor about the person in the hole? The person is smart, capable, hard-working, but what if they have the wrong tool at the bottom of that hole, a shovel for example. You can be the smartest, most hard-working person in the world, and having a shovel in the bottom of a hole isn’t going to get you too far. Sometimes a good metaphor can go a long way in helping explain to others, or even better yet, to ourselves, the struggles we may have on a day-to-day basis. In today’s episode, Tony shares Brian Pennie’s article “How to Avoid Psychological Traps - 3 Metaphors that Lead to a Lifetime of Happiness,” https://medium.com/swlh/avoid-psychological-traps-by-embracing-these-powerful-metaphors-3be3a87cc9f1 This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch)offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ (https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/)and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4 (https://amzn.to/33fk0U4). The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com (http://pathbackrecovery.com) And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words,

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Okay, quick story time. Last week, it was last Friday, to be exact. I woke up and I just hopped out of bed.

0:06.1

It felt like a good morning. I had worked out the evening before. I had taken a shower before I went to bed.

0:11.3

So I woke up. I walked immediately into the bathroom. I washed my face. I got dressed and I jumped into my office. And to be fair, I get in really early. And I typically start with clients somewhere

0:22.1

around six or seven in the morning.

0:23.6

So I try to get in around four, four 30.

0:25.8

That way I can have time to write or record

0:27.9

or create or catch up.

0:29.3

And it has long been some of the best time of my day.

0:31.5

It's nice and it's quiet.

0:33.2

And about halfway to my office.

0:34.7

And it's only 15 minutes or so from my house. And I don't know if you have a car, a newer car, but it will anticipate where I'm going to go on the little navigation system.

0:44.1

So it often tells me, hey, you're 14 minutes from work.

0:46.5

Traffic's clear.

0:47.6

Here's your anticipated arrival time.

0:49.1

And so I just happened to glance down and notice that my anticipated arrival time, it says I will get to my office

0:54.9

at 2.30 in the morning. And suddenly, I could not make sense of the morning. Didn't I get up when

1:01.4

my alarm went off like I normally do? And I had obviously looked at my phone because I was listening

1:06.1

to an audio book and my headphones on my way out the door getting to my car. And so I bring up my alarm

1:11.8

app at that time. And sure enough, there was an alarm set for 315 with a backup alarm set for

1:16.4

330, which honestly led to even more confusion. So long story, well, even longer. And by the way,

1:23.4

that is one of my favorite lines because of somebody who listens to people's stories for a living,

1:27.1

the phrase long story short when I'm often thinking, well, let's be honest.

...

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