l Felt Invisible Plus Keeping A Spark In Long Term Monogamy - 1217
The Chalene Show | Diet, Fitness & Life Balance
Chalene Johnson
4.8 • 7.2K Ratings
🗓️ 6 August 2025
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Chalene opens up about something many women experience but rarely talk about—feeling invisible. From landing in LA and instantly feeling dismissed to noticing how differently she’s treated in Miami, she shares raw thoughts on aging, identity, and how society responds to women based on appearance. This episode dives into the psychological toll of losing external validation, especially for women in midlife, and why it’s not about vanity—it’s about identity. Plus, Chalene and Bret get real about keeping passion and excitement alive in long-term monogamy, including insights from therapist Esther Perel that will make you rethink how desire works.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why some women feel invisible as they age—and why it’s deeper than looks
- The unexpected link between your environment and your self-worth
- How social privilege plays into perceived value (pretty, thin, white, etc.)
- Why long-term couples struggle with desire (even when love is strong)
- Practical tips inspired by Esther Perel on reigniting spark in a committed relationship
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | What is up people? I am back in Miami. I just landed. Brett just picked me up in the car. Penelope's in the back seat. |
| 0:10.0 | And I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you about something that I think a lot of women struggle with. |
| 0:14.8 | I don't know if guys do, but I think all of us have this identity and it's weird when that changes, whether it's changing a job |
| 0:23.2 | or just not doing something you used to do or not looking the way you once looked or maybe |
| 0:27.8 | it's having a mastectomy or maybe it's your hair going gray or gaining weight or losing weight. |
| 0:32.3 | But like so much of our identity is how we decide how the world views us and our value. And I want to talk |
| 0:39.5 | about all that and a little bit about keeping things exciting when you've been married to the same |
| 0:46.0 | person for a really long time or in a long-term relationship that's very loving. Oh, by the way, |
| 0:50.4 | it's Wednesday. So we walk on Wednesdays. Check your step count. |
| 0:55.0 | Let's do this. |
| 0:56.0 | I don't think this is necessarily vanity, but I've said this when we go to Utah in the winter that I don't feel cute. |
| 1:05.0 | Like there's something about the weather there and the way I have to dress. |
| 1:09.0 | Because it's colder. |
| 1:14.3 | It's cold, so your nose gets red and just everything is. |
| 1:15.6 | My skin gets blotchy. |
| 1:17.4 | And Utah is dry. |
| 1:18.6 | It's dry. |
| 1:20.2 | So your skin gets immediately dry. |
| 1:24.0 | And here in Miami, my skin looks better. |
| 1:24.9 | There's a whole bunch of things. |
| 1:28.7 | So anyways, I just returned from spending time with Sierra in L.A. and then also going to Orange County to see some friends in Orange County and check in |
| 1:33.6 | on Bob. And the one thing I noticed when I got to L.A. is immediately, I felt invisible. Like, |
... |
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