Ladies and gentlemen, Greg Proups.

Good evening and welcome to Stormwatch. We're recording from what can only be described as

a tempest here in lower California where the unceasing torrent has not failed to remind us of

our own mortality and in fact infected us with a desire to see our mortality enacted by driving

like even bigger asshots than we already do here in Los Angeles taking everyone's lives in our

hands in a four wheel hydroplane that can only be equated with Nirvana once those wheels lock

and the inevitability of hitting someone in a Tahoe becomes evident in your life blocking out

all other motivations blocking out all other options when you see the curb heading for you and

there's nothing but a splashy wall of fakie ass Disneyland Anaheim water in front of your car

as you flipper toward the curb you know that you are in a rainy place in Hollywood. Other parts of

the country of course have weather so it's just an enathema to us and to me in particular I

detest weather and I think it's a personal affront. Much like animals when they come up to you

and bitten I doubt right you know stop it okay I don't know you and whatnot I don't cover

inner species rubbage um just like that when weather is all on you all of a sudden it's raining

and you're like really I didn't plan on that I had I had other things in mind like being dry

and comfortable and having fun a lot all day instead of reenacting sort of the last chapter

of a Victor Hugo novel as my house has turned into a leaf filled Garrett with lizard scurrying around

and earthworms earthworms seeking sanctuary through my front door what a heinous turn of events

when the arthropod world fucking comes a colon during the holidays I'm so ill prepared I don't have

like old thousand year old you know matter in my house for them to climb through I don't uh what

do they call it when you put a bunch of leaves I don't mulch uh I barely recycle if I can I'm

sorry to confess that to you I'm sure there's green people listening or like fucking you suck

...