Hello, thanks for listening to this Darma podcast. I hope you consider that in accordance

with the Buddhist tradition all of my work is a teacher is offered without charge and supported

entirely by donations only. If you'd like to support this work, you'll find a paypal button on darmapunks NYC.com.

Just reminding us that we're all born with a core psycho drive and that drive it is now clear from the work of neuropsychologists such as Alan Shore,

Amary Gileith, Mario Mac Macculin, Sir, Philip Shaver, Mary Lane, blah, blah, all the way down the line

is to connect with others, our species, a social species, but even more importantly, human beings are

born many many years before we can take care of ourselves.

And so our ability to survive,

our survival is rests upon the quality of our being able to establish a secure bond with a caregiver

If we don't establish that bond, then we are fuck.

That's the clinical term for it.

So, of course the brain has built in not only vital circuits and the interior cingulate cortex and also the wire into the first wiring that comes in place for babies is actually the ability to discern faces to make eye contact.

Eye contact has been shown to activate the secretion of oxytocin,

love hormone, as well as raising serotonin and

dorphin levels and parents. So we connect to stay alive and in fact the core drive can almost be put as a

Dianna Fosha wonderful psychologist notes the desire to be seen in the eye of the other, to have someone

maintain eye contact and to present the sense that we matter to them.

And our well-being is established in those bonds

where we get that contact, where we start to develop the dance of mirroring where the baby expresses or embodies different states of being and the mother mirrors the backs of a child's scared, the mother mirrors that or the child's excited, the mother mirrors that, or the child's excited, the mother or father

mirror that back, and in that tango of action and mirrored response of a miracle of emotion

co-regulation happens.

The child's

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