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If you're not aware of it, the middle school years can creep up and catch you off guard.

Suddenly your kids don't think it's cool to hang out with you and they trade in their old hobbies for trendier ones and start wearing different clothes and there's no

getting around it. It can be a confusing time for kids and parents. I'm John

Fuller along with Danny Werta. He's the head of parenting and youth here at

Focus on the family and Danny there are parents who aren't there yet but there are

parents who are and they're wondering what in the world is going on inside my

middle schooler?

It's an exciting time and it can be a frustrating time.

But the middle school child is really looking for a sense of belonging and it starts to expand to how do I measure with the other the other kids where am I at and my loved

They want to look for a sense of worth, a sense of competence, and there are a lot of comparisons

that begin to happen.

And on top of that, what's been found is that kids tend to go backwards and maturity at that age.

In middle school...

Well, thanks for the encouragement.

They become less mature than they were at the end of the elementary years.

What is that about by the way?

Those are the brain changes.

Hormonal changes, structural changes that are happening in the brain.

And so we want to be aware of that and enter with grace and understanding and our natural way to go as parents is to try to control everything out of our

anxiety. This is an opportunity to learn who your child's becoming and

...