Whoa, it's me, man.

It's young, like Bill Ted era Keanu Reeves.

What's up?

Yeah, totally excellent, dude.

And it is I, English accent Kianu Reeves.

I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace.

In this, though, I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man. It must be not denied,

but I am a plane-dealing villain. There you go, right on. And I'm a bruiser and you're a wizard,

and this is Wizard of the Bruiser. And we're doing an episode on Keanu Reeves and researching it

made a prize. Let's see if we can get the tears out of me today.

We'll see, especially now that I have a daughter and everything. I mean, it is just brutal.

I mean, you also grew a beard and kind of hit your John Wick phase in recent years, I believe.

I have hit my John Wick phase. Honestly, though, more than that, I think. I'm thinking you're back.

The River Phoenix stuff really, uh, got me too. We'll talk about it. I'm glad you got into his biography because I'm, like, obsessed with Keanu, the performer. I feel like this episode is the dark mirror to our Nicholas Cage episode. Yes. Because I found out they're practically the same age.

They were born in the same year.

Both have had decades-long careers with like fits and starts.

Both kind of became superstars by being unlikely action heroes in the post-Stalone Schwarzenegger.

You know, they kind of broke that meta and were kind of this, like, more believable or more at least as, just, just, uh, that just, it, it's insane how their careers have kind of mirrored in the fact that, like, how you utilize Keanu Reeves pretty much makes the difference in how powerful his performances.

And while Nick Cage, we've gone into just how bizarre his choices are, how bombastic, how like almost like an alien car wreck sometimes he is, and you can't look away.

Keanu kind of holds back a lot from the audience.

Kianu kind of just makes these very subtle choices and is basically just kind of a cipher,

just this like blank slate, honorable warrior that upon which if he is doing it right,

...