Kate Silverton: Parenting, emotional regulation, and screen time
Happy Place
Fearne Cotton
4.6 • 15.2K Ratings
🗓️ 18 March 2024
⏱️ 82 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Did you learn to regulate your emotions as a child? Broadcaster turned child therapist Kate Silverton says our ability to regulate our emotions has been found to be the best indicator of future happiness.
In this chat with Fearne, Kate definitively explains why it’s never too late to change your relationship with your kids regardless of how much you think you’ve already messed up. Kate talks through why it’s not about changing our children, it’s about changing their environment. Similarly, it’s not that you’re bad at parenting, it’s that you’re being expected to parent while under often more stress and with less community support.
Fearne and Kate also chat about why all of these conversations are relevant even if you’re not a parent, because all these things – soothing anxiety, acknowledging emotions, cultivating resilience – also relate to our relationships with our own parents, and ourselves...
Plus, Kate gives her take on how best to help children with neurodiversity, and how screens are really affecting our brains.
Kate’s book, There’s Still No Such Thing As Naughty, is out on the March 28th.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello I'm Fern Cotton and this is Happy Place, the show that combines evidence and empathy to help |
| 0:08.1 | us understand what's going on in our minds. Today I'm chatting to Kate Silverton. In the wild, baboons, there is something |
| 0:16.2 | called a stress contagion. If a baboon in the wild sees a leopard and he starts beating his chest because |
| 0:22.1 | his stress response will be going. |
| 0:24.4 | All the other baboons, they might not have seen the leopard but they'll pick up on his |
| 0:28.2 | stress. So this is why if our children are stressed, it can trigger our stress and then they're |
| 0:34.8 | stress and then they're that's why I'm feeling busy because I'm embarrassed that |
| 0:39.3 | I'm in the supermarket and my |
| 0:43.8 | Babin then starts going wild. |
| 0:45.2 | Kay is one of the UK's most familiar faces as a journalist and broadcaster. |
| 0:51.0 | She's covered conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, interviewed the stars on red carpets and |
| 0:57.0 | was gorgeous on straightly come dancing too. But her life couldn't look more different now. In 2020 she switched lanes and returned to her academic |
| 1:07.1 | roots in child psychology. Now she's a child therapist and has written, oh my God, the most phenomenal book and I really mean that. |
| 1:19.6 | You know me, I read a hell of a lot of books. |
| 1:21.7 | This one is just game-changing. It's called |
| 1:25.9 | there's still no such thing as naughty. Everything in there is backed by |
| 1:30.9 | neuroscience as well as Kate's clinical experience. It is a real |
| 1:35.6 | insight into the inner workings of our kids' minds. It's about soothing their |
| 1:40.9 | anxiety, regulating their emotions, regulating their emotions, cultivating resilience. |
| 1:46.3 | But the thing is, this chat is going to be so useful for you regardless of whether you're |
| 1:50.9 | reparent or not, because all these things also relate to our relationships |
| 1:56.2 | with our own parents and how we look after ourselves. |
... |
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