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Am I the Jerk?

Karen STEALS all the OFFICE SUPPLIES... gets BANNED from the OFFICE

Am I the Jerk?

amithejerk.com

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.83.2K Ratings

🗓️ 15 May 2026

⏱️ 22 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Am I the Jerk? is the show where you can confess your deepest darkest secrets and be part of the conversation. 👉 Subscribe on 🔴 YouTube - youtube.com/amithejerk?sub_confirmation=1 📷 Am I the Jerk? on Instagram 📷 - instagram.com/amithejerk Am I the Genius? on 🟢 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/0kb6l0leZvREWgHDG14i4o?si=0ab70d199ba64141 🐤 x.com/amithejerk 📘 facebook.com/amithejerk 👉 SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORIES HERE ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠👉http://amithejerk.com/submit Mint Mobile - Get this new customer offer and your 3-month Unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at MINTMOBILE.com/AITJ Quince - Keep it classic and cool — with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to Quince.com/AITJ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. EveryPlate - Dig into these flavor-packed meals your household will love. New customers can enjoy this special offer of only $1.99 a meal. Go to everyplate.com/podcast and use code AITG199 to get started. Green Chef - Head to Greenchef.com/50AITJ and use code 50AITJ to get fifty percent off your first month, then twenty percent off for two months with free shipping. Lola Blankets - Get 35% off your entire order at Lolablankets.com by using code AITJ at checkout. Uncommon Goods - To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com/AITJ Don’t miss out on this limited-time offer. Uncommon Goods. We’re all out of the ordinary. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/AMI and get on your way to being your best self Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

My entitled co-worker literally steals all of the office supplies, taking it all for herself,

0:05.0

all because she's worked there for 15 years. But as a result of her thievery, they forced her to

0:09.8

start working from home indefinitely, ensuring that she would never be able to steal any

0:14.1

office supplies ever again. Here's what happened. So I've been working in this marketing firm

0:18.5

for about three years now. And for the most part, my colleagues are great.

0:21.9

Well, everybody except for someone I will call Diane.

0:24.7

Diane sits three cubicles down for me and has worked here for 15 years.

0:29.1

She constantly reminds everyone of her seniority and acts like it entitles her to special treatment.

0:33.9

But what's been driving me absolutely insane lately is her bizarre obsession with office supplies.

0:39.3

Last Tuesday, I needed a stapler for an important client presentation. Mine had mysteriously

0:43.7

disappeared from my desk the week before, which is already super suspicious. So I walked over to

0:48.7

the supply cabinet and it was empty, not a single stapler in sight, even though we had just

0:53.4

had a supply delivery the

0:54.7

previous day. I asked around and someone we will call Madison from accounting mentioned that she

0:59.4

had seen Diane carrying a box to her car during lunch. Curious, I casually strolled by Diane's cubicle

1:05.0

later that afternoon, and what I saw stopped me in my tracks. Behind her desk, partially hidden by a

1:10.1

filing cabinet, was a mountain of

1:11.8

office supplies. I'm talking at least six staplers, dozens of notebooks, countless pens, and even

1:17.0

three of the new wireless mice that IT had been saying were back-ordered when I requested one last

1:22.3

month. The next morning, I discreetly mentioned to our office manager, who we will call Jen, that I

1:26.8

couldn't find any staplers. She sighed deeply and said, let me guess, you need other supplies too? When I nodded,

1:32.8

she lowered her voice and said, this happens every quarter. Diane takes everything and claims

...

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